Random thought for the day

newracer · Post by **newracer** » Fri Oct 09, 2020 1:35 pm

Maybe they can take Venmo.

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Fri Oct 09, 2020 8:40 pm

Listen, am I the most attractive man out there? Of course not.

But do I have a good personality? No.

But do I wake up everyday and try to best the best person I can be. Also no.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Oct 20, 2020 7:44 am

I've opened a can of worms ....

They mostly just sit there... Hardly the chaos that's advertised.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Mon Oct 26, 2020 8:08 pm

I think the only thing harder to find than a needle in a haystack is trying to find a haystack.

I've never seen one of these things in person ....

And why are there needles in them? ... sounds like these haystacks only exist in sketchy neighborhoods ....

gkainz · Post by **gkainz** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 5:29 am

Haystacks are a rare thing any more. Most of them bailed.

Oscar · Post by **Oscar** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 1:01 pm

So y’all never bucked bails for a living?

ASCTLC · Post by **ASCTLC** » Tue Oct 27, 2020 2:22 pm

I grew up bailing hay and straw...didn't mind straw but hated hay. At my age I'd probably stroke out after a morning of bucking even straw.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:44 am

74BuckinBronc · Post by **74BuckinBronc** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:48 am

I hope it's liquid Lava soup!! LOL!

SamFromCO · Post by **SamFromCO** » Thu Oct 29, 2020 8:22 am

I ain't scared of no Corn Pops.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Mon Nov 09, 2020 7:12 pm

A prostitute approached my car and said, "I'll do anything you want for 50 dollars"

As I handed her the $50, I said, "Give me 75 bucks"

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:20 am

"take out" means food, dating, and murder

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:21 am

Before Mount Rushmore was carved, it's natural beauty was unpresidented

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:22 am

If you buy a bigger bed, you have more bed room but less bedroom

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Mon Dec 28, 2020 9:26 am

Dinosaurs didn't "rule the earth," they were just alive. They are often given credit for administrative skills they most certainly didn't have.

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Tue Dec 29, 2020 8:34 am

If one farts and sneezes at the same time, your body takes a screenshot. That's why my brain's photo album is full of odd pictures.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Sun Feb 14, 2021 11:28 am

Vodka .... It's like hand sanitizer for your insides.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Sun Feb 14, 2021 11:30 am

If I had a nickel for every time I had no clue what was going on, I'd be like "Who the hell is giving me all these nickels?"

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Tue Mar 30, 2021 12:01 pm

There is a proverb in the Balkans - that your can get your wife from village but you need to get your car from Germany

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Jul 13, 2021 7:34 pm

To get what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done

/yates board (in place of woody)

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Wed Aug 11, 2021 10:01 am

"Some people feel the personal choices of others are selfish and need to be regulated. What's really selfish is expecting others to surrender their liberties so you may enjoy a false sense of security."

Sound_Man · Post by **Sound_Man** » Wed Aug 11, 2021 10:08 am

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Thu Sep 16, 2021 7:35 am

If it were not for the beep at the end, microwaves would not get opened with 1 second left.

74BuckinBronc · Post by **74BuckinBronc** » Tue Nov 16, 2021 10:32 am

Why is something sent via ship called cargo and something sent via car is a shipment?

Some correlation of hemorrhoid vs asteroid.

74BuckinBronc · Post by **74BuckinBronc** » Tue Nov 16, 2021 10:32 am

Why is something sent via ship called cargo and something sent via car is a shipment?

Some correlation of hemorrhoid vs asteroid.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Sun Mar 13, 2022 9:59 am

"The clock is ticking" said everyone since the invention of the clock.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Fri Jun 17, 2022 10:37 am

Loneliness is a great thing to share with someone.

-Coach from Cheers

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Sun Jun 19, 2022 12:18 pm

It's time to create your own shadow and stop living in someone else's ....

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Mon Jun 27, 2022 10:54 am

I used to date a girl who had a parrot. The fawkin' thing never shut up. The parrot was cool though.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Mon Jun 27, 2022 10:55 am

This "killing them with kindness" thing is taking way longer than I expected.

creepycrawler · Post by **creepycrawler** » Mon Jun 27, 2022 4:55 pm

Rex Ashton wrote:This "killing them with kindness" thing is taking way longer than I expected.

Yeah, I gave up on that.

Steve · Post by **Steve** » Thu Jun 30, 2022 6:27 pm

Just spent the week in Moab for work. Moab has been destroyed. It’s sad.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Aug 30, 2022 10:58 pm

Mitch Hedberg stuff ....

I was gonna get my teeth whitened, but then I said fawk it, I'll just get a tan instead

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:00 pm

If you are having a baby, you have to name it ... so get a baby naming book, or invite someone over who has a cast on....

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:03 pm

We don't know what sesame seeds grow into because we don't give them a chance... WTF is a Sesame?

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:07 pm

I'm sick of following my dreams ... I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:09 pm

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, and I said No .... But I wanted a regular banana later, so Yeah....

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:12 pm

At the end of my letters I like to write
"PS .... this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q & R were eliminated"

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:13 pm

I was staying at a hotel and the receptionist gave me her number ... It's 0

Rex Ashton · Post by **Rex Ashton** » Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:16 pm

Every foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer